mindycure

Hi everyone.. I am in the early stages of my journey with gastric bypass. I am still not 100% sure I want to do it. I come to a moment when I am sure I want to do it, then I think what if I die or something and leave my child.. See my ex committed suicide a couple of years ago, leaving our son without a father, my son was 4 at the time. So needless to say we have been in and out of therapy. Well I have met someone new and have since remarried, he is a great guy and loves my son to death. But "what if " I keep saying in my head that something should happen to me and he loses another parent. I know if I didn't have a child I would do this in a heartbeat. I am just such a paranoid person and don't know what to do. As far as the risks are concerned. I am not overly overly obese, I am 130 pounds over my ideal weight, I think at my first consulation at the doctor's office I weighed in at 257. So while I feel disgusting weighing this much, I just don't know if I am making the right decision. Now I know no one can make my mind up for me, but I just needed to get this off my chest and wondered if anyone else struggled with the stress of "should I or shouldn't I" and how you came to your decision. Thanks for listening.